We Did It All Night

"How did I do it?"

That’s what I ask myself every now and then when I've managed to finish another project with plenty of time to spare. I ask myself that because that kind of result is not always the case. There will always be those nail biting moments when every second that passes seems to be a hammer blow on your heart wherein you just finish the project as the clock winds down to zero.

If you're experiencing more of the latter than the former situation, you are definitely not alone.

Who can blame us?

Most of us have been steeped in the culture of "doing it all night" for the 4 to 5 years and sometimes even more of our so-called college education. Oh the stories we can tell about our moments of sleep deprivation whilst trying to perform a task that would probably be better done while well rested. I'm sure anyone who has had the experience of trying to do a scale model at some ungodly hour with a cutter in one hand will surely agree because they'll probably have the scars to prove it.

My personal "best" is about 3 ½ (three and a half!) days straight of staying awake in an effort to finish a major design plate. I did finish the plate on time and the strange thing was that I don’t remember being tired at all during those days. In fact, I don’t remember much at all during those days.

It all seemed like a blur from the beginning until the time I had submitted my work. It is as if my mind had completely tuned out the world around me at that time. The one thing I do remember clearly is the hour later after submitting my plate.

A couple of my friends and I went over to a place to eat and I can remember reaching for some fries and finding out that my hands were trembling so much that I could not hold one for the life of me. It was only then when my fatigue became real to me.

Through some miracle and after missing a couple of stops (because I was sleeping throughout my trip in the jeepneys and buses) I managed to get home at noon. Reaching my bed, I did not fall asleep, I passed out.

It seemed like forever before I woke up still wearing the same clothes I was wearing the day before. Yes, I slept from noon until the next day and it was one of the best slumbers I had ever had.

“How did I do it then?”

Full speed ahead most of the time and running on empty.

I know now that it’s an unhealthy way of doing things. It's not really the best of practices especially when you go out into the world beyond college.

The thing is we really knew that way back then too. We just somehow refused to acknowledge it because we somehow had some twisted sense of pride in doing it that way. It was our way.

“How do I do it now?”

I have a system and I am in control.

Today, that would be true most of the time. It’s not true all of the time because old habits do die hard.

It's midnight and I need to sleep.