new year's resolutions

got this of an egroup mail... just thought it's funny, and wanted to share. has nothing whatsoever to do with arki stuff =D
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Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Break at least one traffic law.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
9. Wait around for the next big opportunity.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Create loose ends
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Associate with even worse business clients.
15. Mope about my faults
16. Never make New Year's resolutions again.